What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
