Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
