The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
