Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
