Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
...so i touched it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
