i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
