Why is your signature on my underwear?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
