If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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