He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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