fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
