I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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