hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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