I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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