Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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