i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
