You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
