That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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