How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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