Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
