He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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