dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
