another moral hangover. fuck.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
did you just send me my own nude
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize