i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
