Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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