i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
