: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize