I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Randomize
