Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
