Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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