playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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