fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
