I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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