This girl is more easily done than said...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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