You smell like stripper and shame
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
