Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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