As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
