Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
3pm strippers are depressing
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
