people are starting to question the shark bite story
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
