She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
