I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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