I looked at my own cervix.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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