Where is the hickey?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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