How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
