so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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