Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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