it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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