theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
