And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
