so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
