my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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