good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
