why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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