haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
