I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
