no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
