so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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