I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
