I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
