You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize