she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize