i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
