i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
