the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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