operation harelip BJ is a go
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
